When Topless Is Bad: 5 of the World's Ugliest Convertibles
Ah, the convertible. Wind in your hair, sun on your face and bugs in your teeth. Conventional wisdom tells us to love them all — they're usually more fun, worth more money and sometimes even faster than their hard top counterparts. Because of this, many believe that any car can be improved by removing its roof. However, I beg to differ. Especially these days, when there’s a whole category of just plain ugly cars that belong on the "Do Not Strip" list.
May I present to you some of the world's ugliest convertibles:
1. Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe Convertible
Case in point, the Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe Convertible. Sporting a whopping V12 engine and a price tag of a cool half million, the Phantom Coupe is not a car for the introvert or the fiscally challenged. Between a grille so big that it could have been ripped off of an 18-wheeler and the elongated body that seems to have no point other than to say, “Look where I stash my diamonds!" — it’s also downright obnoxious.
The fact that it's a drop top makes this car even worse — accentuating its length and exposing the entire loser entourage in the back seat. This one was spotted on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. Exactly. Terrible topless vehicles don’t just exist on the top of the income spectrum; they’re now available in all shapes and sizes.
2. Nissan Murano
Like this Nissan Murano that was perfectly ugly in the first place. Then not only did it become a convertible, its soft top is in a contrasting color, just to draw additional attention to its awful lines. This one in particular continues on to full ugly by including the rhinestone plate holder and headlight eyelashes. I'm sure that whoever drives this monstrosity, however, thinks it's fan-freakin-tasatic. Let's just hope that the removable top enables better wi-fi, for all of those passengers will inevitably Google "ejector seat" at some point during the ride.
3. Kia Soul'ster Concept Car
If, by chance, you’re a fan of the ugly convertible, here you go. It's Kia's ever-popular Soul... just an airier version, which they’re calling the Soul’ster. Like a mother nursing her baby at a five-star restaurant, I say, “Cover that thing up!" Nobody wants to see that, I’m sorry.
4. Modified Mercedes G-Wagon
But not as sorry as I am that someone at Mercedes decided it would be a great idea to convert a G-Wagon into a Suzuki Samurai. Boy, that thing lost its cool factor quicker than a Muzak remake. So sad. But at least Mercedes had the good sense to put it out of its misery and discontinued it.
5. Ferrari Mondial Cabriolet
Finally, to prove that ugly can happen anywhere, I give you the Ferrari Mondial Cabriolet. Shown here sandwiched between a few of its more attractive siblings, the Mondial Cabriolet was only produced for two years (wonder why) and has thus become quite a collectible. Unfortunately, its rag top is about as natural as Donald Trump's combover.
So let's not worry about trying to get every car to take its top off. Because, as any Mardi Gras party goer will tell you, sometimes what you find underneath is barely worth the beads.
